Groucho.jpg
NameGroucho Mendoza
PositionCentral Defender
Age27
Star signCancer
Home town
Buenos Aires, Argentina
Signed from
Valencia
Estimated value
£4m
Favourite food
Steak
Favourite film
Evita
Favourite band
The Outcasts
Favourite player
Maradona

Groucho is the irritable Argentine who moved to Warbury from Valencia. The Spanish club decided to wash their hands of him after his team-mates complained he was smelly, miserable and paranoid.

Since joining the Warriors, the hulking Mendoza has teamed up with Scrapper to form a scary defensive partnership.

Amazingly, despite his personal hygiene problems he has a stunning girlfriend, Eva Gerron. His desperation for her to join him resulted in him being blackmailed by the evil Anakov who provided a dodgy visa for Eva.